He Knows: Turning to God for Understanding and Peace

The pain we experience on this earth is entirely unique. While situations such as the loss of a loved one affect everyone, each person experiences grief and pain in different ways. It’s common to feel as if no one knows how much pain you’re in, or the confusion and anger you may feel. You may imagine that you are completely alone in this world, with no one to turn to for understanding and peace. While these thoughts may be overwhelming, remember that God always knows. He knows every thought, every desire, and every feeling that flows through your mind. There isn’t a thing that goes unnoticed by God. We may not always feel His strong presence, but God is always working to make sure our lives go according to plan.

March 2019 Bereavement

God reaffirms His love and knowledge of us time and time again in scripture…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

“And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:27-28

“Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” –Psalm 139:4-5

This holy message is also depicted in Jeremy Camp’s song: “He Knows.”

Camp’s moving song proves that everyone feels bogged down and isolated at times. It’s also a powerful reminder that God is not only constantly with us, but is also constantly aware of how we’re feeling and what we need in a given moment. Take a few minutes to listen to the song. Listen or read along to the lyrics. Think about the trials and struggles you are experiencing and remember that God knows you – and He is the only one that can provide you true peace and comfort.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsccUg4TDd8

 

Post written by Katie Karpinski

Stop and Smell the Roses: Three Simple and Nourishing Activities for the Bereaved

After losing a loved one, it’s common to feel disconnected and unattached to reality. Your life may appear to be blurry, as the sights, smells, and noises that were once so familiar now seem very foreign. Since losing a loved one is a traumatic and life changing experience, this type of emotional reaction is completely normal. Your world has shifted, so it makes sense that the way you interact with the world would also change.

However, as normal as these emotions may be, allowing yourself to sink fully into numbness can prevent you from having a healthy grief journey. It’s very important that you reconnect with your senses. Don’t just wander through each day, but embrace every part of it. Use your senses to ground yourself in reality. You’ll find that doing so can bring you great peace and comfort.

This type of lifestyle is easier said than done; however, there are some things you can do to help encourage the full appreciation and acknowledgement of your senses. Keep reading to learn more.

Stop to Smell the Roses - blog

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing has long been known as a soothing exercise. Something about feeling the air enter and escape your body in controlled breaths is a reminder that God is always surrounding you—literally giving you what you need to survive. Feeling your chest move up and down reconnects you with your body and proves how complex and intricate God designed you to be. Breathing also engages your sense of smell. Whether you’re breathing in the familiar scent of your home living room or taking in the fresh outdoor air, taking time to stop and actually notice the smells around you can help place you in a given location and envelope you in comfort and familiarity.

 

Finding Color

While grieving, the world can seem like it’s painted in black and white, both literally and figuratively. When you have a quiet moment, look around you and try to find five different colors. Doing so can remind you of the variety and excitement God has granted you here on earth. Maybe it’s the green leaves on the tree in your front yard, or the deep brown oak of the door in your bedroom. Whatever the case, finding different and exciting colors around you is not only a fun and interesting exercise, but a nurturing way to tap into your sense of sight.

 

Taking Pauses

The best way to truly connect with your senses and reconnect with Christ is to simply take time to pause. When you see something beautiful, stop what you’re doing and really experience it. God gives us precious moments—don’t ignore them! It might be a beautiful morning sunset, the smell of your favorite homemade meal, or the sound of rain against your bedroom window at night. These moments will vary person to person, day to day. It’s up to each and every one of us to find these soft and gentle messages from God and spend time in His presence.

While these are just three simple activities, there are countless ways to fully experience life and live through your senses. Find something that works for you. Find something that can serve as a reminder of God’s presence and love. While there may be trials and times of sorrow in our lives, God is always asking us to stop for a moment, acknowledge His presence, and smell the roses.

 

Post written by Katie Karpinski

Grief’s Gentle Journey: One Foot in Front of the Other

After losing a loved one, grief may feel like something that needs to be conquered or overcome. However, grief is not an obstacle– it’s a journey that we embark on with the company of our Heavenly Father. Just like any journey, while grieving you will experience ups and downs, trials and successes. God offers us all the strength and guidance to continue moving forward—especially in times when it seems most difficult.

While grief is specific to everyone, here are some suggestions to progress forward in a healthy way. Keep reading to learn more.

Griefs Gentle Journey (Jan 19 Bereavement)

Have a growth-mindset

Losing a loved one can make the whole world seem finite and fixed. You may feel like your fate is set and that you will never feel truly happy again. Instead of diving deeper into this fixed perception—try to have a growth mindset. Grief is an opportunity to learn and grow as a person. You will not always feel hopeless and downtrodden. Rather, if you focus on small improvements and constant progress, you will find yourself more accepting and open to what God has planned for you in your life. God has lessons in store for us in each step of our grief. Try to learn as much as you can, and don’t rush through your feelings. Rushing means you are missing valuable lessons. Pace is not important for grief.

Celebrate small successes

Grief is an experience completely specialized to the individual and the situation. The way you and other members of your family mourn the loss of a loved one will be different. Similarly, the way you grieve will depend on your relationship with your departed loved one. The way you mourn for a parent will be different than how you mourn for a spouse or sibling. Therefore, you should never measure your grief progress to that of others or even your past self. Instead, you should focus on small successes and steps toward improvement for you personally. For some people, these steps can be as small as going outside for a few extra minutes each day. For others, steps can be as large as visiting your loved one’s grave for the first time. Whatever the case, find some steps you can personally take and celebrate yourself for these small improvements.

Spend time in prayer

The best step anyone can take in progressing along their grief journey is spending extra time in prayer. This prayer doesn’t need to be traditional prayer either. It can be starting a prayer journal or reading a devotional book. While these are just a couple of examples, find a form of prayer that works for you. Keeping close to God during your most difficult times will help you stay on track. Communicating with Him and listening to His gentle voice during prayer can help direct you to your next step and offer you comfort and peace throughout the journey. By truly listening to God and communicating with Him on a daily basis, you may come to better understand how your grief can lead you closer to Him and His eternal salvation. While hard to comprehend at times, death is part of God’s master plan.

Are you interested in joining a grief support group? Available at a variety of cemetery locations, our support groups meet once a month. Please come and join a warm fellowship of people with similar grief experiences, helping each other through prayer, shared stories, and grief recovery discussions. Click here to learn more.

Post written by Katie Karpinski

 

 

Emmanuel: God With Us, God For Us, God Within Us

O Come Emmanuel – it’s a song we’ve all heard on the radio, sung at Mass, or recognized in popular movies and television shows. While we may be familiar with this phrase, how many of us have actually paused to contemplate its meaning? A quick Google search of “Emmanuel” will tell you that it means “God is with us.” While this is very true, to truly understand the implications of this word we must look a bit deeper. You see, being “with us” implies that God is also for us and within us. Keep reading to learn more about each aspect of God’s eternal presence.

December Bereavement 2018

With us

The first dimension of God’s presence is the easiest for most people to understand. Just like our friends and family, God is a close companion we have throughout our time here on Earth. He is someone we can go to in times of trial and tribulation. He is someone we can celebrate our joys and successes with. He is someone we can go to when we are confused and don’t know which way to turn. He is always there to help us navigate life. While God may be similar to close friends and family, there is one significant and astounding difference. While friends and family may leave us, God never will. No matter how saddened, desperate, or lonely you feel, God will always be standing right beside you. God will never abandon you. For those who are grieving, this is extremely important to remember. Loneliness can be an awful, aching feeling. If you find yourself slipping into this mindset, simply take a moment to pause and seek out Christ. He is with you always.

For us

The second dimension of God’s presence is His advocacy. God is our greatest ally. He –more than anyone– assures that we are taken care of and that our needs are met. For some, we may feel that our needs are not being met at certain times. Whether it’s the loss of a family member, financial struggles, or health complications, there will be times that we feel God is taking from us instead of providing for us. As tempting as these thoughts might be—remember that God is all-knowing and all-powerful. He alone understands how certain events must occur to give us the greatest chance of salvation. While God may remove obstacles and clear our path, He may also put up caution tape and barriers as well to protect us. Next time you feel forgotten or forsaken, remember that the creator of the universe is actively preparing a path specifically constructed for you. Every road will have ups and downs. What’s important is that you keep moving closer and closer to Christ.

Within us

While God may be walking with us in support and watching over us in preparation, He also resides within us. The God within us (even in our unawareness of His presence) allows the existence of peace which surpasses all understanding, joy in the midst of grief, and love through our brokenness. The belief that God is in the very root of our being can help us understand the pure love God holds for each of us. He created us in His holy image, and we are all called to be faithful sons and daughters of Christ. Through the Holy Spirit, we can experience the essence of Christmas despite the trials we face on this earth.  There is always joy to be found in realizing we are deeply and truly loved by the creator of the universe.

If you’re grieving this holiday season, remember that God is with you in so many ways. He is walking beside you, watching over you, and working within your heart to bring you joy and peace even in times of sorrow. Set aside some extra time this holiday season to spend with Christ. Maybe this means attending a daily mass or reading scripture each morning. It can even be as simple as starting your morning with a quick acknowledgment of God’s presence. Whatever the case may be, find a way to strengthen your connection with Christ this Christmas.

 

Are you interested in joining a grief support group? Available at a variety of cemetery locations, our support groups meet once a month. Please come and join a warm fellowship of people with similar grief experiences, helping each other through prayer, shared stories, and grief recovery discussions. Learn more by visiting https://www.clecem.org/Information/Bereavement.aspx.

 

Post written by Katie Karpinski

 

 

3 Ways You Can Help Children Grieve in a Healthy Way

Children provide an interesting perspective to essentially everything. Their fresh impressions and highly curious minds foster imagination and wonder. They are driven by pure emotion and instinct. These traits are part of what makes childhood such a formative time in our lives. Unfortunately, losing a loved one as a child is a harsh reality many people face. It can be hard to console children through grief, for their way of processing their emotions is much different than it is for adults. However, there are some key things you can do for the children in your life who may be grieving to help them grieve in a healthier way. Keep reading to learn more.

3 Ways You Can Help Children Grieve

Be Honest

The best thing you can do for a child who is grieving is to be honest—in all regards. First, it’s important to be honest about death itself. Describing those who have died as being “gone,” “asleep,” or “taken” do not accurately describe what happened. Children are familiar with these terms and assume that those who are gone can come back, those who are asleep will wake up, and what’s been taken can be returned. Death is a permanent force and one that should be explained and defined to children. It’s also important to be honest about how their loved one died. Telling children how their loved one died can help them form rational conclusions about how death works, and they can have an outlet for any negative feelings they have. Just make sure these negative feelings are aimed toward a thing (such as an illness) and not a person (such as a doctor). Helping them understand the actual concept of death and what it means is the first step to helping them along their grief journey.

Be Yourself

Next, it’s important that you are honest about how you feel. It’s a natural protective instinct to put on a brave face for children. This is okay. You want to be strong for children who are experiencing such a tragic loss. However, there is a way to be strong and brave while also being honest. Telling a child how you truly feel following the loss of a loved one can help them understand their own thoughts and feelings. Chances are you are likely feeling a combination of emotions—you may be sad, confused, or even angry. You can experience all of these emotions simultaneously while grieving, and it’s important that children realize they can experience several conflicting emotions as well. Instead of being a “rock” be a role model. Find ways to connect and communicate with the children in your life.

Be There for Them

Finally, continual conversation is crucial. Losing a loved one and journeying through the grief process is traumatic for anyone—let alone children who may not even fully be aware of what they’re feeling or how to express those feelings. Taking time to check on the children in your life and having conversations about their grief (in an age appropriate manner) can help them progress along their grief journey. Be ready to answer any questions they have and answer them honestly. It’s also important during these conversations to emphasize that you will be with them for help and encouragement. Many children will foster fears of abandonment and separation after losing a loved one. Reassuring children that they will be cared for can help soothe these fears, and will also ensure that their energy and thoughts are more appropriately dedicated toward healing and understanding their grief.

These tenants can be helpful guides to the grieving process, but also remember that grief is unique in every conceivable way. If you find yourself consoling a grieving child, make sure to keep this in mind and help them in whatever way is most appropriate—and don’t forget to take care of yourself as well! You can only help others work through grief if you yourself are also able to work through grief in a healthy way.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day is November 15th. The best way to show awareness on this day is to wear blue. More information can be found at https://www.childrensgriefawarenessday.org/cgad2/index.shtml.

Are you interested in joining a grief support group? Join us at one of our monthly meetings. Visit http://clecem.org/Information/Bereavement.aspx to learn more.

Post written by Katie Karpinski