How Long Will the Pain Last?

When will I be over my grief?  When will I feel like myself again?  When will I start to enjoy the things that I used to enjoy?  I have been asked these questions so many times.  Wouldn’t it be so helpful to have a grief planner, a calendar, a to-do list in order to move through your sadness in a predetermined amount of time?  We who are grieving wish it was that simple.  Unfortunately, there is no timeline, no grief manual, and no set plan to get us through our heart break.

There is really no way around grief.  We can busy ourselves and redirect our attention to other things or other people, but grief always finds a way of coming to the surface.  No matter where we are on our grief journey we can still experience the pain “as if it happened only yesterday”.  In our task-oriented society, we attempt to attach a start time and finish time to everything we do.  God has created us, He is quite aware of our need to control feelings and situations; He is the Master Planner!

Each of us is unique.  Our relationship with our deceased loved one is unique.  Our support system is unique, as are our coping skills.  There is one thing that we all share and that is the love and compassion of our Lord.  HE knows our pain; HE knows the relationship we shared with our deceased loved one; HE knows what kind of support and coping skills we have.  HE is in control.  Rely on God’s comfort and goodness.  Believe that this pain will pass….all in God’s time.

Nancy Romaine,

Bereavement Coordinator

Catholic Cemeteries Association

How Long Will The Pain Last?

All the rest of your life. But the thing to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this be true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether? For then the memory of love would go with it. The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.


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